We have a family meeting with my parents and my sister I make my intentions known and confess my love for the woman I love and I asked them to please ask her parents for her hand in marriage.Her dad passed away so her uncles and mother needed to be consulted, this is the cultural way of how things should be done.
My parents set up a meeting with her family and I have been asked to be present at the discussion.The day comes when we go and we ask for her hand in marriage,
I feel a very uncomfortable when we enter but play that down to me just being nervous. We take a seat and great everyone, as we are all familiar with each other. One of her uncle's is an Accountant and he asks me a few questions. General questions which I answered to the best of my ability.
I start to sense or get the feeling that somehow things have changed overnight, they are asking me questions as if they never new me. It was a scary feeling.
One of the questions was how I would look after his niece as I have no qualifications because I have left school early to help my dad when he got ill.My dad and I both suggested that he has a business and I would run that business which eventually I would inheritHe did not seem very impressed with that answer.He said to me he has high hopes for his niece he would prefer someone more professional and would some qualifications someone like a Doctor or Lawyer even an Accountant.
Businessman or self-employed was not very professional in his eyes so I got the feeling.He also asked how much money I have.At this point being young and naive I was getting very upset as I got the impression that I was in the bank applying for a mortgage.I kept my cool and listen carefully to everything they had to say.By this time I realised that her family did not approve of me, shocking as it was to realise it sure was the truth.He went on to say to me that without a profession or a degree life would be very difficult for me, I even offered to study thinking this would please him.
Harsh and it hurt to bits what I was hearing worst was that I am not going to have the woman I love more than life.The normal situation when you ask someone's hand in marriage they have a few days to come back to you.So we where told they will let us know.
A few days later they came out with an excuse so it does not look bad that his nice was too young.My parents apologised to me saying they have done the best they could do and can't really do anything more.I could not handle this we both decide we will not allow the families to break up the love we share.
Zia lived 700km away from her family at the time with her mum and 3 sisters.We carried on our secret relationship yet again knowing the family won't approve of us, we both could just not let go.Being that far away I had met a friend where I live by the Name Jane, Jane and I got very close as she was there for me to talk too.I had many moments where I used to feel so useless and speak to Jane about my inner feelings.The love that my beloved and I have would conquer all was my thoughts.
Zia has a friend who is getting married and she was invited to the wedding, her friends and I have met on many occasions, they supported our relationship and hoped we could get married as well.I was down for this wedding and Zia and I talk we share our thoughts of how do we deal with the families, I love her so much yet her family cant see
that, well shocking to me I hear from her that the following day her family had arranged and allowed someone to come ask for her hand in marriage.
that, well shocking to me I hear from her that the following day her family had arranged and allowed someone to come ask for her hand in marriage.
Hearing this just drove me insane, these same people said she was too young to get married now all of a sudden she not.This just confirmed to me these people where money hungry bigots who where looking for there own benefit than cared anything about how Zia and I felt.
Zia cried and said to me if I go home tomorrow they are going to marry me off to someone else.I told my sweetheart I will not stand for that.She and I discussed the best thing to do was to elope and get married that way no-one will ever keep us apart.Well we got into the vehicle and went off to do just that, we go to a family member of mine and tell them our predicament ,they suggest Zia calls home and let her mum know she is with me and not coming back home.We also make our intentions known that we intend to get married.
The night draws till the morning with phone calls and threats all roads are manned searching for us.My parents get very upset with me as they tell me this is not the right way to do things.My uncles and most of my family by now get involved in this love triangle.Most of them felt I am bringing a very bad name to the family and should not get married like this, they all promise me they will get us married but I need to do it in the correct manner.I asked what the correct manner is as I have been down that way and they want to marry her off to someone else.They promise yet again give her back and we will start all over again and guarantee we will be together.
After some pressure from my parents we agree.
No comments:
Post a Comment